Tuesday, September 24, 2013

I Believe Again in Fox Mulder

Oh, hello, blog. Long time no write! I could make excuses about starting a new job and not having enough free time, which is partially true. However, I've also been re-watching The X-Files from the beginning for probably the tenth time*. It's a big commitment, so I obviously have to shun some aspects of my life for this endeavor. Blogging appears to be the chief thing to ignore.

There are innumerable reasons to watch The X-Files over again. This year is the 20th anniversary of the show's remarkable premiere, it's all on Netflix, and it's amazing to trace Vince Gilligan's progress from this to Breaking Bad.

In reality, though, a part of me will also re-watch the show because Fox Mulder was my first real crush. I admired his passion, his morals, his unwavering belief in the face of constant scrutiny. Upon this viewing, though, I saw Mulder in a much different light. Instead of being the strangely attractive moral crusader I remembered, he seemed to be blindly selfish, constantly pursuing his own agenda with blatant disregard for those around him. Add to that his frequent flippant sexual jokes, and you get a recipe for disillusionment. Needless to say, my teenage self was deeply upset to ruin such fond memories.

But it's in Season 4's devastating "Memento Mori" that my faith in Mulder was reaffirmed. As Scully is diagnosed with potentially deadly cancer, she approaches the situation with the same clinical distance that makes her a successful doctor. When discussing the lack of treatment options, Mulder reacts without hesitation: "I refuse to accept that." Instead of breaking down or feeling helpful, Mulder summons the same passion and dedication to try to not just treat Scully's tumor but locate its origin.

I suppose the moral of the story is that everybody has flaws, or perhaps it's that growing older makes you more critical. Either way, here's to blogging again!

*Not going to lie: I also watched all of Pretty Little Liars. My brain needed candy, and I regret nothing.