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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Why I'm Not Watching Liz & Dick

I am a sucker for campy movies. I've watched Showgirls more than any human should, and I worship at the throne of John Waters. However, I refuse to indulge the train wreck that is Liz & Dick, and here's why.
Liz and Dick

Lindsay Lohan's slow decline has been detailed in every American tabloid. Between the drug abuse, rehab visits, jailings, DUIs, and other scandals, she has been very busy over the past few years. What hasn't she been doing? Working. Her reputation has made it practically impossible for her to get insurance on set. In fact, Lifetime had an incredibly difficult time keeping her insured; in the 3 short weeks they were shooting, rumor has it that Lohan trashed Elizabeth Taylor's original trailer, didn't pay her bill at the Chauteau Marmont, and drove without permission. That's no shortage of drama, but Lifetime knew it would be worth it for the schadenfreude viewership. Everyone is waiting for the next installment of the Lohan downward spiral, and Lifetime is only happy to oblige. Their image is already laughable, so what do they have to lose?

Lohan, on the other hand, is pretty desperate. She's referred to as the "Mean Girls star"; not only was the movie released a whopping 8 years ago, but the most memorable characters and lines belonged to other actors, not to her. If she wants her brand to stop bleeding money, she needs something -- anything -- on her resume. There are two main problems here: she never was a truly talented actress, and she isn't even trying. Just the gifs from Liz & Dick show how Lohan has lazily sighed her way through the role she claimed would prove her worth. Between her distractingly bad plastic surgery and her lack of enthusiasm, this movie just seems painful to watch.

So this train has been wrecking for at least 6 years. At first it was titillating, then it was a sick obsession. Now, it's just plain sad. Watching Liz & Dick just lines Lohan's pockets with a few more pity bucks to continue her downward slope. If enough of us take a stand against Lohan, maybe she'll take a step back so that she can stop being the laughing stock of the internet. Admittedly, I'm enjoying the ridiculous gifs and innumerable articles this TV movie has spawned -- I'm only human -- but I'm officially stepping away from Lohan until further notice.

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