Friday, January 27, 2012

Double Feature Friday: Creepy Clown Edition

Double Feature Friday is a weekly post curating two films based on a given theme.

Let's get one thing straight: clowns are fucking scary. What may have once been fun and whimsical is now permanently associated with the dark nasties. As such, the horror industry now has a monopoly on all entertaining clown pictures. If you're not coulrophobic, skip the carnival and pair these two flicks.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988, Stephen Chiodo) is the be-all, end-all of cheesy clown movies. The title says it all: murderous alien clowns visit earth to wrap humans in cotton candy shells and drink us. That's basically every child's nightmare, so imagine that with more neon colors and you'll have a rough idea of the movie. But in true 80's fashion, Killer Klowns opens with its very own theme song performed by popular punk band the Dickies. Sing it with me now!

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Some make us laugh, some make us cry
These clowns, honey, gonna make you die...

But the real beauty of Killer Klowns is just how much it revels in its b-movie status. The costumes are pathetic, the acting is atrocious, and the concept is absurd. The trick is that they all know it, so they have fun with it. After all, we are all secretly scared that an ugly clown from outer space will shoot us with a popcorn ray gun, so the laughter helps alleviate our fears, right?

After the epic humor of Killer Klowns, it's time for something slightly more terrifying. Drive Thru (2007, Brendan Crowles and Shane Kuhn) combines two of America's great fears: clowns and fast food related death. The latter fear can be credited to Morgan Spurlock's popular documentary Super Size Me; appropriately, Spurlock appears in this film as a fast-food employee.

Drive Thru

I'll be frank and state that this film is pretty weak except for two critical factors: the killer is Hella Burger's mascot named Horny the Clown, and he deep fries someone's face. Seriously. The remainder of the movie dances around vague attempts at wit while the characters smoke copious amounts of pot; I'm assuming the filmmakers hope you're high enough to watch Gossip Girl cast members run from a clown.

Watching these two flicks back-to-back will no doubt fill you with giggles and delight. When Monday rolls around again, just remind yourself that things could be worse: you could be murdered by a clown, and that's no fun at all.

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